Monthly humor
Statements you’ll never hear your father say
In honor of Father’s Day, here is a list of things you’re never likely to hear coming from your dad’s lips:

I’m lost . . . so I guess I’ll stop and ask for directions.

All your friends have a very sarcastic attitude I like that.

Here’s my credit card and the keys to my new car. Have fun.

What do you want to get a job for? I make plenty of money for you to spend.

Enjoy Your Vacation without Gaining Weight
Curves for Women, a national health club, offers these tips on how to enjoy your vacation without gaining weight:

Plan to eat your largest meals at breakfast or lunch so you will have much of the day to work off the calories.

Keep on the move and incorporate physical activities into your trip.

Pack healthy snacks.

Eat every four or five hours to keep your blood sugar on an even keel and hunger pangs at bay.

The power of words
A Zen master told a small group of disciples that words held the power to shape reality and influence physical health and sickness.

One of the disciples was skeptical. Words may affect the mind, he said, but nothing else.

The master frowned. ìOnly a very ignorant, foolish person would say that. Leave at once.î

The disciple stared at the master, and his face turned red. His body grew tense, and his fists clenched in anger.

Then the master spoke calmly: ìObserve the effect of a few words on your own body. Stay and think of how powerfully they can affect us all

Keeping it all in balance
One of the hardest things for workers to do these days is to keep their lives in balance. The demands of family and work are often difficult to prioritize. Keep in mind that you will probably have to continually make changes as you go along to keep things running smoothly. Here are some tips for helping you assess the demands of your life and how to keep it all from careening out of control:

Write it down. For one week, religiously record everything you do. That means work, home, family, errands. Then sit down and look at your life. Do you see a pattern where you are doing things you donít enjoy. Do you have the ability or authority to change that part of your life? If you do, take action. If not, sit down with your supervisor and see what you can work out.

Use your time efficiently. Try to do things as you go, rather than letting big jobs build up.

Adopt a good enough attitude. Let a few things go. The world is not going to come to an end if you don’t get your dusting done. Are you setting unreasonable standards for yourself?

Communicate. This will help you avoid time consuming and energy sucking situations.

Take care of yourself. Try to do something that you enjoy every day.

Enjoy your day off. Try to do household chores during the week, so you donít have to spend your day off catching up.

Get some sleep. You will be amazed by how much better you feel.

Make sure you have someone you trust that you can talk to. If you feel supported, it will make it easier to get through the tough times that everyone inevitably faces.

When you feel like things are out of controlóask for help. Talk to a psychologist, doctor, or other professional who can help you when youíre at your most vulnerable point. óadapted from Walgreens.com

Avoid that aching back. Keep moving .
Our bodies were made to move around, not sit at a desk eight to 10 hours a day in one position staring at a computer screen. One of the most important things workers can do for themselves is to vary their positions and movement throughout the day. Here are a few suggestions.

Plan your day to include short tasks every 30 minutes or so that force you to get up from your computer and move. For example, go pick up printouts from the printer, file some papers. Choose tasks that involve walking, standing and stretching.

Take more frequent, but shorter breaks.

Stretch out on your breaks. Move those areas of your body that have been immobile. Rest areas of your body that have been strained.

Buy a timer to remind you that itís break time.

Alter your sitting position periodically.

Work at your computer while standing for a brief period.

See if these items are on your calendar!

National Safety Month. Each June, the National Safety Council encourages businesses to get involved and participate in National Safety Month. Each week has a separate theme; themes this year include prescription drug overdose prevention, teen driving safety, and preventing overexertion at home and at work.

Fresh Fruit and Vegetable Month. Fruits and veggies are essential to good health, reducing your risk of heart disease, high blood pressure, Type 2 diabetes, and certain forms of cancer. Generally low in calories and high in fiber, fruits and vegetables can help you control your weight.

National Fishing and Boating Week, June 5-13. A celebration of fishing and boating coordinated by the Recreational Boating and Fishing Foundation. This event coincides with most statesí free fishing days, which let people fish without a license.

Early and provident fear is the mother of safety.
Edmund Burke

The wise man in the storm prays to God, not for safety from danger, but for deliverance from fear.
Ralph Waldo Emerson

We either make ourselves miserable, or we make ourselves strong. The amount of work is the same.
Carlos Castaneda

I donít like to do just the things I like to do. I like to do things that cause the company to succeed. I donít spend a lot of time doing my favorite activities.
Michael Dell

Do not wait; the time will never be ìjust right.î Start where you stand, and work with whatever tools you may have at your command, and better tools will be found as you go along.
Napoleon Hill

Help wanted
A neighborhood pet shop needed some office help, so the owner posted a sign in the window: “HELP
WANTED: Must be able to sort mail and use the computer. Must be bilingual.”
In the afternoon, a dog trotted into the store, wagging his tail, and barked at the sign repeatedly. The
owner finally realized he wanted the job. Perplexed, he said, “Sorry, boy. You have to be able to sort
mail.”
The dog hopped up on the counter where the day’s mail was stacked, and used his nose to sort the
packages and envelopes into separate piles—junk mail, invoices, checks, and the like.
The owner didn’t know what to do, so he took the dog in back to the office and showed him the computer.
The dog hopped on the chair, logged on, and began surfing the Web for pet sites.
Stunned, the owner sat down and tried to think. The dog waited patiently. Then the owner said, “But you
have to be bilingual.”
The dog opened his mouth and replied, “Moooooooo.”

Make optimism a cornerstone of your success
Positive thinking alone may not ensure success, but it’s an important start. If you don’t believe in
yourself, you’ll have a hard time persevering against the obstacles and setbacks you’re likely to
encounter.
Here are a few tips for maintaining the right attitude in the face of adversity:
• Tell yourself you can change. Think of how you’ve changed throughout your life—not physically, but
emotionally. You’re probably a different person today than you were five years ago, so don’t assume you
can’t evolve further.
• Use positive language. Banish words and phrases like “impossible” and “I can’t” from your vocabulary.
Replace them with words that emphasize strength and success: “challenging” instead of “impossible,” and
“I must” for “I can’t.”
• Create the right environment. Listen to music that uplifts you. Watch inspirational movies and shows.
You don’t have to devote yourself to a life of “Tomorrow” and Rocky, but don’t spend too much time on
downbeat material. Mix it up, with a leaning toward the positive.
• Appreciate your life. Focusing on what you don’t have can crowd out your appreciation for what you
already possess. Take some time every so often to enjoy what you’ve already achieved with your life.
Think about what you did to get where you are, and use that as reminder of your capabilities.
© PhotographyNewsletter.com
• Let go of mistakes. You’re bound to fail at some things; don’t obsess over them. Learn what you can
and move on instead of beating yourself up over and over for them.
‘Failures’ who made their mark
Motivate yourself to move forward by looking at this list of “failures” who went on to succeed:
• Isaac Newton. Before discovering gravity and the laws of motion, Newton did so poorly at school that
his mother withdrew him to work on the family farm. (He hated farming.)
• Walt Disney. The famous filmmaker was fired from a newspaper job because, his boss said, he lacked
imagination and didn’t have any original ideas. His first cartoon production company went bankrupt.
• John Grisham. The author of many legal bestsellers, John Grisham had a tough start. His first book was
rejected by 16 agents and 12 publishers.

The most valued possessions lie within
A young boy sought enlightenment from a wise monk who practiced pottery making. One sunny
afternoon after many years of study and meditation, the boy was admiring one of the monk’s prized pots
when it slipped from his hands and broke into many tiny pieces.
The boy apologized profusely. But the monk remained calm. “You need not be sad,” he said with a gentle
smile. “It is still within me.”
The wise monk’s true pleasure came through the process of creating and shaping the pot, not in owning it
afterward. His joy was not in the destination, but in the journey.